Dear Moby,

You never write. You never call.

How am I supposed to know what direction our relationship is going?

Do you ever think of me?


Your Blog Subscriber #9

WELL, well, well….

There are so many feelings to feel. So many words to write. So many updates to update. So many sentence fragments to make (so many English teachers to disappoint).


Anyhow, now that you remember how we write bad… how we’re poor writers… how we write poorly? I’m still dragging my feet and I’m kind of okay with that.

There *are* a lot of updates since my last blog post in, uh, January. Eight months worth of updates! GAH! Excitement raging through my fingers!

1. The coffee bar is OPEN. You can now come visit and order the best coffee you’ve ever had… you just have to come during our very narrow window of actually being open.


Friday 6am – 2pm

Saturday 6am – 2pm

Sunday 7am – 2pm

“What the heck do you do the REST OF THE DAYS?!” asked the reader, a bit irritated.
“I’m trying to do a lot the other days. A lot. Key word is ‘trying’, main take away is maybe I’m not actually doing a lot,” responded the writer as she cleared her throat and moved the blog forward…

2. NEW! You can now drink our coffee at a few lovely places scattered throughout the scenic and majestic Columbia River Gorge: The Old Parkdale Bed and Breakfast (right in DOWNTOWN Parkdale, people, doesn’t get any cooler than that), Cooper Spur Mountain Resort (we’re in their rooms and restaurant), and Feast Market & Delicatessen (they’ll make you an espresso drink with our coffee and that is rad. They also make the best sandwiches in the world. Go ahead and argue with me about it.).

3. Fancy-schmancy people:

Image result for homer donut


East Fork Baking Company has been providing delicious treats! Baked donuts, scones, muffins, gluten free options, & cinnamon rolls.

Erin Valverde-Pollard designed a NEW LABEL for us, and somehow also pumped out some seriously cool artwork. It’s hanging on our walls at Moby. Our labels and branding will be evolving to include everything from her genius.


Arome is providing an assortment of teas and spices that we are serving up!

4.  We catered coffee to two weddings this month. One was a delivery of our pour-over coffee in air pots with cream, sugar, and teas. The other was a full-blown espresso bar for the wedding guests to order during the ceremony and reception.

Image result for susan b anthony

“Did you say coffee? At a wedding?”



YES! It was super great, really fun, totally awesome… and just a teensie bit overwhelming. It was our first time, okay? We’re ready for the next one.

Mobile Moby, available for all fancy events. O-la-la, vidal sassoon.

Also available for the un-fancy events (antonym for fancy is plain, by the way). Because not all events are fancy, and not all fancy people love events. Logic. Which means that plain people also like events, and plain people can also like fancy events. Inclusive.

Wait… is that right? I’m sure there’s a way to solve for X there but I’m not going to. Not because I don’t know how to… but because I just don’t have the time right now….? Maybe I talked myself in a circle. Maybe I’m a philosophizer and so I’m RIGHT and don’t tell me I’m wrong because I’ll just argue it into a circle. And then make you solve for X. Hahahaha, I am cracking myself up over here. Are you guys laughing??


I know there are other things I should tell you, but it’s Wednesday and the garden… I mean, the important business meeting… is waiting.


Forever yours,

The Only Blog Writer for Moby Coffee Roasters








2 thoughts on “so many things…”

  1. About freaking time! What the hell? Do you need a cup of coffee or something….we’ve been waiting over here like….” I’m wondering what Moby is up to? That dude never calls…..”

    BTW….still waiting for that Quad-Mocha delivery service. 🙂 ha!

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