You’re Invited

IF whenever you read the words ‘you’re invited‘ & you immediately, without hesitation, think ‘can you be there?… I don’t know what outfit I’ll wear…‘ and then start throwing clothes out of your closet, frantically looking for your Old Navy Performance Fleece…..

Then we are destined to be together and I’ll gladly be the one to provide your half of the BFF necklace.

IF this is your first time reading the blog, then you might wonder why I’m starting with an old ad. It will get better….?

IF it isn’t your first time then you already know… That I’m perfectly good at focusing, silly!


If you’re thinking, WOW this blog has a lot of ‘IF’ statements, THEN you’re right. You guys see how I also like to mix in logical formulas?



Moby Coffee Roasters opened a coffee bar in April of 2018. Which means that the Moby Coffee Roasters Coffee Bar is turning ONE!

Just like any infant, it had its moments. Moments of splendor, moments of terror. Moments where you didn’t know if you were going to keep it alive, smother it, and/or accidentally forget something important that ends up either making it grow up and be great or grow up and be terrible.

So somebody cue the Terrible Two’s!!!!! (this is what happens when a mom opens a business, apparently, they make poor associations)

We are going to have a celebration by offering FOOD for sale by 80/20 Damn Fine Foods & spending the day being with our friends and customers who have become friends.


AND – you guessed it….



9am – 2pm

What does next year bring for the coffee bar?

  • We will add on Monday & Tuesdays as soon as possible (our goal being before summer)
  • We will make additions to our menu that include:
    • more not-caffeine options
    • drinks that are poured out of a BLENDERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR (slow down there bucko, I mean blended coffee drinks NOT pina coladas)
  • We will continue to make improvements to the space to keep our customers comfortable. ‘Customer Comfort, the newest trend in the Upper Hood River Valley
where people can buy drinks for people 


For those of you close enough to have visited, I hope you enjoyed your time in our space. It really is my goal to make it somewhere special for Parkdale.

I always welcome kind words and constructive criticism. As long as the criticism doesn’t make me cry by accident. NO PRESSURE. I rarely cry. JK. I cry sometimes. Just not a lot. And typically not by criticism. Except sometimes. If the criticism is mean. Then I’ll cry. But I’m a strong woman. I just cry sometimes. Because of hormones. And because that was really mean to say. And I’m pretty sure you could have said it nicer.


That’s all I’ve got for now.

Please follow Moby Coffee Roasters @mobyroasters on Instagram!









so many things…

Dear Moby,

You never write. You never call.

How am I supposed to know what direction our relationship is going?

Do you ever think of me?


Your Blog Subscriber #9

WELL, well, well….

There are so many feelings to feel. So many words to write. So many updates to update. So many sentence fragments to make (so many English teachers to disappoint).


Anyhow, now that you remember how we write bad… how we’re poor writers… how we write poorly? I’m still dragging my feet and I’m kind of okay with that.

There *are* a lot of updates since my last blog post in, uh, January. Eight months worth of updates! GAH! Excitement raging through my fingers!

1. The coffee bar is OPEN. You can now come visit and order the best coffee you’ve ever had… you just have to come during our very narrow window of actually being open.


Friday 6am – 2pm

Saturday 6am – 2pm

Sunday 7am – 2pm

“What the heck do you do the REST OF THE DAYS?!” asked the reader, a bit irritated.
“I’m trying to do a lot the other days. A lot. Key word is ‘trying’, main take away is maybe I’m not actually doing a lot,” responded the writer as she cleared her throat and moved the blog forward…

2. NEW! You can now drink our coffee at a few lovely places scattered throughout the scenic and majestic Columbia River Gorge: The Old Parkdale Bed and Breakfast (right in DOWNTOWN Parkdale, people, doesn’t get any cooler than that), Cooper Spur Mountain Resort (we’re in their rooms and restaurant), and Feast Market & Delicatessen (they’ll make you an espresso drink with our coffee and that is rad. They also make the best sandwiches in the world. Go ahead and argue with me about it.).

3. Fancy-schmancy people:

Image result for homer donut


East Fork Baking Company has been providing delicious treats! Baked donuts, scones, muffins, gluten free options, & cinnamon rolls.

Erin Valverde-Pollard designed a NEW LABEL for us, and somehow also pumped out some seriously cool artwork. It’s hanging on our walls at Moby. Our labels and branding will be evolving to include everything from her genius.


Arome is providing an assortment of teas and spices that we are serving up!

4.  We catered coffee to two weddings this month. One was a delivery of our pour-over coffee in air pots with cream, sugar, and teas. The other was a full-blown espresso bar for the wedding guests to order during the ceremony and reception.

Image result for susan b anthony

“Did you say coffee? At a wedding?”



YES! It was super great, really fun, totally awesome… and just a teensie bit overwhelming. It was our first time, okay? We’re ready for the next one.

Mobile Moby, available for all fancy events. O-la-la, vidal sassoon.

Also available for the un-fancy events (antonym for fancy is plain, by the way). Because not all events are fancy, and not all fancy people love events. Logic. Which means that plain people also like events, and plain people can also like fancy events. Inclusive.

Wait… is that right? I’m sure there’s a way to solve for X there but I’m not going to. Not because I don’t know how to… but because I just don’t have the time right now….? Maybe I talked myself in a circle. Maybe I’m a philosophizer and so I’m RIGHT and don’t tell me I’m wrong because I’ll just argue it into a circle. And then make you solve for X. Hahahaha, I am cracking myself up over here. Are you guys laughing??


I know there are other things I should tell you, but it’s Wednesday and the garden… I mean, the important business meeting… is waiting.


Forever yours,

The Only Blog Writer for Moby Coffee Roasters









Happy New Year! Today is January 1, 2018. 1/1/18. That means everyone’s resolutions are in full swing and we only have two more months to go before we remember to write ‘2018’ instead of ‘2017’ on anything and everything that requires a date.

This is going to be a short post, because I actually just spent 30 minutes writing a post but it became very derailed so I’m going for short & sweet here (side note about blogs, it’s a lot like leaving a voice message; you have an ‘audience’, but not immediately, so it’s really confusing on when to stop talking or typing…).

Updates and cha-cha-changes:

  • Our Holiday Roast was received very well. We got a lot of great reviews and pats on the back, and it made us feel like we threw the winning touchdown pass at our Senior Year homecoming game and was crowned Most Valuable Player. And I know that’s a good feeling from watching it on TV.

    holiday roast
    goodbye mr octopus
  • We want to keep our Holiday Roast something people look forward to, which means it is getting axed until next year. Ugh, see, I already did it. It’s getting axed until later *this* year. :/
  • It’s come to our attention that our website shopping cart is lame-o. Apparently customers want to be able to order coffee with ease, and not with confusion and frustration. I dunno. But we’ll fix it.
  • We are introducing a new blend titled ‘Moby’s Mt Hood Morning’. Oh la la, ça a l’air délicieux. We have our blend down and are waiting on labels, and then our site will be updated.
  • We are introducing a second blend, but it’s all still a secret. It’s going to be REALLY cool and slightly different, and you’re just going to have to believe me on this one. Trust fall!
  • We will be introducing a subscription service!!!!!!!!!!!!! EEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK GADS! You’ll be able to have it auto-shipped to your doorstep if you live outside of our footprint. If you live in our footprint then we’ll make sure our feet are clean before we step on you. Just kidding, but we will be delivering (similar to a CSA), or you can pick it up in our (announcer voice)….

the man builds


That’s right, you’ve just signed the lease on a brand-new-to-you space. This space is roughly 1000 sq feet with cement flooring and all the fixings you could possibly want to set up a coffee roasting business. Say goodbye to the days of clutter and chaos, and say hello to the coffee production system that you’ve dreamed of. Built in the 1950’s, this place used to be a fire station and then a grocery mart, and it’s yours for the low low price of… selling lots of coffee!